>CORPORATE LESSON 1
>
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>shower
>when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs
>downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
>neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop
>that
>towel."
>
>After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
naked in
>front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and
leaves.
>
>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets
>to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>
>"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband
>says,
>"Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
>
>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit
>and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
>prevent
>avoidable exposure.
>
>
>
>
>
>CORPORATE LESSON 2
>
>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing
>her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>
>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun
>said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But,
>changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again
>said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized, "Sorry
sister
>but
>the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
>
>On His arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It
>said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
might
>miss
>a great opportunity.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>CORPORATE LESSON 3
>
>A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch
>when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
>
>The Genie says,"I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me
first!"
>says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat,
>without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
>
>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing
>on
>the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina
Coladas, And
>the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>
>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want
>those two back in the office after lunch."
>
>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say
>
>
>
>
>
>CORPORATE LESSON 4
>
>A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
him,
>"Can I also sit like you...
>
>and do nothing all day long?"
>
>The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
>
>So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox
jumped
>on
>the rabbit and ate it.
>
>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting
>very high up.
>
>
>
>
>
>CORPORATE LESSON 5
>
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the
>top of that tree," said the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
>
>"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're
>packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found
that
>it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>
>The Next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.
>
>Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
of
>the
>tree.
>
>Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
>
>Moral of the story: Bull might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you
>there.