ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could

have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen

nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

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TWO

The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple

of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few

items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.

I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register

and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider"

looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"

I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."

She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to

what had just happened.

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THREE-----MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and

pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she

said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit

card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

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FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

"Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote

door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing

to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys

to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why

don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

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FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she

was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing

paper.

What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the

intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the

photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

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SIX

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed

into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and

the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister."

I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had

set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

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SEVEN ------IDIOTS &COMPUTERS...

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of

a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems

with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the

branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back

of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

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EIGHT

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.

Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

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thats great!

 

That ****'s funny as hell, shows how stupid some people really are!

 

hahahahahahaha love it

these all true?

 

funny chit!!!!!!!!

 

hahahaha Wicked funny!

 

the last one is the greatest!

 

DIdnt know rurik worked at mcd's

 

Here's your sign

 

what?????

 

its from an old George Carlin skit about stupid people. Go find it cuz its pretty funny.

 

Bill Engvall (sp?) does a huge bit on "Here's your sign." It's his version of "you might be a redneck."

 

Those are funny!