A traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said the man.

"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.

The man slid his $20 bucks in, the panel was closed.
Minutes passed and nothing happened.

He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open again.

"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"

"What?" said the voice, "Again?"




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A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it.
They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".

The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.



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Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an "F" in Arithmetic today.

"Why?" asks his father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said "6".

"But that's right," said his father.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'

"What's the fucking difference?" asks his father.

"That's what I said!"