Marriage
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From: norman, ok
Marriage
Hope this isn't a repost but i read in an email...
Marriage (Part 1)
Typical macho man married typical good looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card playing when i want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time abou tit. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
Marriage (Part 2)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here lies my wife-cold as ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"Here lies my husband stiff at last.'"
Marriage (Part 3)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amend and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,"what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed."
"in bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinoin!"
Marriage (Part 4)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as wel. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
Just remember guys, no matter what you think now, when you get married you're automatically wrong
Marriage (Part 1)
Typical macho man married typical good looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card playing when i want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time abou tit. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
Marriage (Part 2)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here lies my wife-cold as ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"Here lies my husband stiff at last.'"
Marriage (Part 3)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amend and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,"what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed."
"in bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinoin!"
Marriage (Part 4)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as wel. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
Just remember guys, no matter what you think now, when you get married you're automatically wrong
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