Grammer Check for me PLEASE
10-10-2007, 08:58 PM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: co
Age: 40
Posts: 993
Grammer Check for me PLEASE
i know this has nothing to do with bikes but i have to put this up tonight and have no one to check it for me, so if you are good with english, please help.
Sean Gustafson
19770 New Market Ct.
Parker, CO 80134
(720) 201-6472
Sean.a.gustafson@wellsfargo.com
Hiring Manager
Wells Fargo
Dear Hiring Manager,
Settle for nothing less than perfection. Those are the words I live by when audit comes to mind. I have been through two audits as a Wells Fargo team member, and have succeeded with marvelous results.
I started Wells Fargo as a teller two years ago. Since then I have used the knowledge base I have gained at Metropolitan State College of Denver to advance myself to Service Manager. I am now ready to take the next step in my promising career.
I am a quick and willing learner with a drive to succeed and would love to put my talents to work on the Wells Fargo audit team. I look forward to speaking with you.
Very truly yours,
Sean Gustafson
Enclosure: resume
I would like to obtain a position that will allow me to utilize my education talent, and creativity, at a company that encourages lifelong growth and development.
October 2005-Present Wells Fargo Bank
Service Manager
Responsible for ensuring the bank is in compliance for audit. Last score for the branch was over 90 out of a possible 100 points. I received a 100% when I took the authorized signer test.
I have coached my staff to surpass our sales goals every quarter.
Work with a team of skilled professionals who consistently evaluate and adjust our strategy as necessary to reach our goals.
Have prevented losses to the branch as high as $104,000.
May 2000-October 2005 Wall Mart
Cell Phone Salesman
Performed credit checks, and made sure formal contracts were filled out and filed properly.
Responsible for ordering inventory based on customer trends, and keeping track of every item in the inventory.
Exceeded monthly sales goals.
May 1998-May 2000 D.K. Welding
Shop hand
Turned raw steel into designer railings and gates.
August 2002- Present Metropolitan State College of Denver
Business Management
Relevant coursework: Accounting I and II, Computer Apps for Business, Managerial Finance, Legal Environment of Business I and II, Human Resources Management, Business Statistics I and II, Strategic Management, International Business, Management Decision Analysis, Organizational Management, Calculus for Managers, Bus. Ethics
thats not how my resume looks but the format wont copy. thanks!
Sean Gustafson
19770 New Market Ct.
Parker, CO 80134
(720) 201-6472
Sean.a.gustafson@wellsfargo.com
Hiring Manager
Wells Fargo
Dear Hiring Manager,
Settle for nothing less than perfection. Those are the words I live by when audit comes to mind. I have been through two audits as a Wells Fargo team member, and have succeeded with marvelous results.
I started Wells Fargo as a teller two years ago. Since then I have used the knowledge base I have gained at Metropolitan State College of Denver to advance myself to Service Manager. I am now ready to take the next step in my promising career.
I am a quick and willing learner with a drive to succeed and would love to put my talents to work on the Wells Fargo audit team. I look forward to speaking with you.
Very truly yours,
Sean Gustafson
Enclosure: resume
I would like to obtain a position that will allow me to utilize my education talent, and creativity, at a company that encourages lifelong growth and development.
October 2005-Present Wells Fargo Bank
Service Manager
Responsible for ensuring the bank is in compliance for audit. Last score for the branch was over 90 out of a possible 100 points. I received a 100% when I took the authorized signer test.
I have coached my staff to surpass our sales goals every quarter.
Work with a team of skilled professionals who consistently evaluate and adjust our strategy as necessary to reach our goals.
Have prevented losses to the branch as high as $104,000.
May 2000-October 2005 Wall Mart
Cell Phone Salesman
Performed credit checks, and made sure formal contracts were filled out and filed properly.
Responsible for ordering inventory based on customer trends, and keeping track of every item in the inventory.
Exceeded monthly sales goals.
May 1998-May 2000 D.K. Welding
Shop hand
Turned raw steel into designer railings and gates.
August 2002- Present Metropolitan State College of Denver
Business Management
Relevant coursework: Accounting I and II, Computer Apps for Business, Managerial Finance, Legal Environment of Business I and II, Human Resources Management, Business Statistics I and II, Strategic Management, International Business, Management Decision Analysis, Organizational Management, Calculus for Managers, Bus. Ethics
thats not how my resume looks but the format wont copy. thanks!
10-10-2007, 09:22 PM
#3
NealFoReal
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: QUEENS, NY BITCHES
Age: 47
Posts: 36,000
Re: Grammer Check for me PLEASE
I'm not the best when it comes to this **** but I highlighted a few things that I think should be changed and some words that you missed. Good luck homie. If you really need someone to correct this **** my girl is a lawyer and she writes exceptionally well. I know you said the formatting didnt copy over so I dont know how it actually looks but your job responsibilites and achievments should be bulleted. Hope this helped a little - if it didnt my bad meng.
i know this has nothing to do with bikes but i have to put this up tonight and have no one to check it for me, so if you are good with english, please help.
Sean Gustafson
19770 New Market Ct.
Parker, CO 80134
(720) 201-6472
Sean.a.gustafson@wellsfargo.com
Hiring Manager
Wells Fargo
Dear Hiring Manager,
Settle for nothing less than perfection. Those are the words I live by when audit comes to mind. I have been through two audits as a Wells Fargo team member (take the comma out) and have succeeded with marvelous results.
I started at Wells Fargo as a teller two years ago. Since then I have used the knowledge base I have gained at Metropolitan State College of Denver to advance myself to Service Manager. I am now ready to take the next step in my promising career.
I am a quick and willing learner with a drive to succeed and would love to put my talents to work on the Wells Fargo audit team. I look forward to speaking with you further about this opportunity.
Very truly yours,
Sean Gustafson
Enclosure: resume
Objective:
(In resumes you're not supposed to use the word I). To obtain a position that will allow me to utilize my education, talent and creativity at a company that encourages lifelong growth and development. (took the comma's out in some spots)
Employment History:
October 2005 - Present - Wells Fargo Bank
Service Manager
Responsible for ensuring the bank is in compliance for audits. Last score for the branch was over 90 out of a possible 100 points. Received a 100% score on the authorized signer test.
Trained team of employees to surpass companies sales goals every quarter.
Worked with a team of skilled professionals who consistently evaluate and adjust the sales strategy as necessary to reach sales goals.
Took the necessary steps to prevent a loss of up to $104,000.00 to the branch. (I dont really like this sentence but couldnt think of something to replace it.)
May 2000-October 2005 Wal-Mart
Mobile Equipment Sales
Performed credit checks and ensured formal contracts were filled out and filed properly.
Responsible for ordering inventory based on customer trends and keeping track of every item in the inventory.
Exceeded monthly sales goals.
May 1998-May 2000 D.K. Welding
Shop hand
Turned raw steel into designer railings and gates.
August 2002- Present Metropolitan State College of Denver
Business Management
Relevant coursework: Accounting I and II, Computer Apps for Business, Managerial Finance, Legal Environment of Business I and II, Human Resources Management, Business Statistics I and II, Strategic Management, International Business, Management Decision Analysis, Organizational Management, Calculus for Managers, Bus. Ethics
thats not how my resume looks but the format wont copy. thanks!
Sean Gustafson
19770 New Market Ct.
Parker, CO 80134
(720) 201-6472
Sean.a.gustafson@wellsfargo.com
Hiring Manager
Wells Fargo
Dear Hiring Manager,
Settle for nothing less than perfection. Those are the words I live by when audit comes to mind. I have been through two audits as a Wells Fargo team member (take the comma out) and have succeeded with marvelous results.
I started at Wells Fargo as a teller two years ago. Since then I have used the knowledge base I have gained at Metropolitan State College of Denver to advance myself to Service Manager. I am now ready to take the next step in my promising career.
I am a quick and willing learner with a drive to succeed and would love to put my talents to work on the Wells Fargo audit team. I look forward to speaking with you further about this opportunity.
Very truly yours,
Sean Gustafson
Enclosure: resume
Objective:
(In resumes you're not supposed to use the word I). To obtain a position that will allow me to utilize my education, talent and creativity at a company that encourages lifelong growth and development. (took the comma's out in some spots)
Employment History:
October 2005 - Present - Wells Fargo Bank
Service Manager
Responsible for ensuring the bank is in compliance for audits. Last score for the branch was over 90 out of a possible 100 points. Received a 100% score on the authorized signer test.
Trained team of employees to surpass companies sales goals every quarter.
Worked with a team of skilled professionals who consistently evaluate and adjust the sales strategy as necessary to reach sales goals.
Took the necessary steps to prevent a loss of up to $104,000.00 to the branch. (I dont really like this sentence but couldnt think of something to replace it.)
May 2000-October 2005 Wal-Mart
Mobile Equipment Sales
Performed credit checks and ensured formal contracts were filled out and filed properly.
Responsible for ordering inventory based on customer trends and keeping track of every item in the inventory.
Exceeded monthly sales goals.
May 1998-May 2000 D.K. Welding
Shop hand
Turned raw steel into designer railings and gates.
August 2002- Present Metropolitan State College of Denver
Business Management
Relevant coursework: Accounting I and II, Computer Apps for Business, Managerial Finance, Legal Environment of Business I and II, Human Resources Management, Business Statistics I and II, Strategic Management, International Business, Management Decision Analysis, Organizational Management, Calculus for Managers, Bus. Ethics
thats not how my resume looks but the format wont copy. thanks!
Last edited by OnEWhEeLNEAL; 10-10-2007 at 09:41 PM.
10-10-2007, 09:41 PM
#4
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Rochester, IN
Age: 38
Posts: 491
Re: Grammer Check for me PLEASE
i'm not awesome at this stuff either, but check the dates of your previous jobs, i would make sure to put them in chronological order. also, do you have good references? also- i dont know about what your job entails, but if you belong to any sort of professional organizations or whatever mention it (i'm sure you are all over this, but worth mentioning again) other than that man i think you dont look too shabby. good luck with the job man! 
10-10-2007, 09:44 PM
#5
NealFoReal
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: QUEENS, NY BITCHES
Age: 47
Posts: 36,000
Re: Grammer Check for me PLEASE
I wouldnt actually list the references on the resume. I would put something like references available upon request. I did some research a while ago when I wrote mine and thats what I found online - a couple of places said to just say available upon request. But again I'm not that good w this **** so do what you gotta do homie.
10-10-2007, 09:44 PM
#6
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: co
Age: 40
Posts: 993
Re: Grammer Check for me PLEASE
thanks for the help everyone, its funny how you can read something you wrote ten times over and miss simple things. I just asked for an informational interview and the hiring manager told me they were filling positions tomorrow and to send him a resume, kinda short notice, thanks again
10-10-2007, 10:50 PM
#8
brabuhburbuh
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: NY
Age: 41
Posts: 2,829
Re: Grammer Check for me PLEASE
hell yeah it is, like when you read a book that is a new york times bestseller and you know during its creation somebody mustof been hired to read it and check the darn grammer, yet there are still errors!
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