Why the *** is this door locked?? I notice the guy at the pump is standing there scratching his head. SO I shout out, I think the attendant is in taking a poop, so just hang in there, and we'll get what we need...

 

So finally this guy comes out and unlocks the door, and appologizes for taking so long, and I could tell that he knew that I knew why I had to wait for the door...

 

I grab the milk and pay the fellow, and go on my merry way. I get back into the truck, turn the key, and ka chug ka chug, the truck fails to start...

 

What in the blue monkey *** is the problem now?!? I sit there for a second, turn the key, and it only rolls over, but doesn't fire, What the *** did I do to deserve this???

 

I wait a few more seconds, and turn the key, finally the truck grumbles to a rickity low idle, so I rev the motor a few times to get it going, I slap it into drive, and leave the gas station...

 

a few miles down the road I notice a couple cars on the shoulder with their 4-ways on, as I creep forward, I notice a queen sized mattress on my side of the road and a little old mexican dude in a truck on the other side of the road...

 

So I decide to stop to see if I can lend a hand, and plus I figure with the way my day has gone, I could use some good karma points, So I hop out of the truck, making sure to leave it running, cause I didn't want to have it not start on the side of the road...

 

As I get out of my truck, the other car that stopped decides, OK, someone else is gonna help out this guy, I don't need to help anymore, and leaves...

 

I hollar over to the guy, and say, can I lend ya a hand, and he says, (in a mexican accent) yea thanks alot sir. So we pick up the mattress and begin to carry it, across the busy road, and I'm thinking, ***, this is it, I"m gonna get killed helping out some dude who doesn't know how to tie down his load in the back of his truck...

 

But as you can probably tell, I didn't get run the *** over.
So I get into my town and every light in town is out. It's dark as hell, and no one knows how to treat an intersection when the light is out.. I mean, IF THE TRAFFIC LIGHT IS OUT IT MEANS IT'S A 4-WAY STOP NOW YOU *******!

 

I eventually manage to make my way home safely, and come into a candle light house.

Being that I just got out of work, I have to drop a deuce when I walk in the door...

 

I then find out that my sister has wasted our one good flush already, and if I go boom boom, there is no telling WHEN it will be able to flush, and my little brown children will fester until power comes back on...

 

Luckily I find out that my sister-in-laws house still has power, so I get to go over there to do my duty! I bet it's cause I was so helpfull to that mexican guy, that the good lord allowd my sis-in-law to keep her power, for me to poo...

 

I get there, drop a deuce, and remember that SWEET there is a wings game on tonight too..

I flip on the TV and check the game...

 

Rock on, the wings are winning 1-0 as soon as I turn on the game!

I don't get to watch the entire game, because that would have interfered with my mom, and sis-in-law watching Desperate Housewives...

 

So I watch Desperate housewives, and thankfully it was an eppisode where Eva Longoria (sp?) is in her underwear, lookin SMOKIN ****** HOT!

Then I check into the wings game, and they are winning something like 4-1, and the game is almost over...

 

So the Wings win their game tonight, and Desperate House Wives is over, I'm ready to go home, but I don't feel like going home to a power outtage, how do I figure out if power is on or not at my house???

 

Then it hits me...

Call the house, if the answering machine picks up then that means that the power is back on, and I can go home! So I call, and it rings about 438975279 times, and the answering maching picks up!

Power is back on at my ****** house....

 

So I drive home and park the truck in the driveway, and mozy my way up to the front door...

 

I walk into the house, take off my shoes, and fix myself a nice cold glass of pepsi...