Alright, but realize it was a "special event" night...I'm not a big freak or something...

So, it's new years eve...we're at a party, both of us get smashed...my dad happened to be in town, so we were lucky enough to call him and he came and gave us a ride home (I know, lame-o's) Well, i barely remember walking into the front door of our house at the time...I WAS SMASHED, barely able to walk...You'd kind of had to be there for this story, but to me, it was f'in hilarious... So, for SOME REASON, I was the one who suggested, "Hey, let's uh, try it!!" I run in the bathroom, grab the vaseline, stumble back to the room...Start getting it on...I mean, this was a never opened jar and the next morning it was atleast half gone, so I made sure everything was um, "well taken care of..." I can't believe I'm telling this story...so, blah blah, getting it on, getting it on...Periodically, I'd reach over and grab some more vaseline, just to keep it primed Well, one time I just happened to miss the jar, grabbed the alarm clock and totally didn't notice that I was using the alarm clock as my new lubricant... Needless to say, the next morning the alarm clock was thrown away

 

Bad choice in lube babe. Astroglide warming gel is the shizzle :YEAH

Edit: very funny story though

 

I personally don't even LIKE the act!! That's what I mean by i was SMASHED

 

I don't get it


You shoved the alarm clock up your ***?? How big was the alarm clock??

 

No, not really shoved...sorta like um, tried lubing myself with it, like dude, I don't know how to explain it w/out me looking even more stupid...use your imagination and run with it

 

Good stuff

 

I just spit water on my keyboard!