Casualties of war
Thread Starter
I Like Boobies!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 238
From: My secret underground lair
Casualties of war
I know that I'm not the only one with a gamble a lose story to tell. For all the bathrooms in all the world Their are more solders left behind than just mine.
I was hoping frank would tell the story of his favorite new years after party where his stomach , weakened by his arch enemy "Pizza Hut" , attacked him from the front and in fending off the attack he was flanked and ambushed from the rear by his other mortal enemy " bowels of the drunken itialian"
It was a sad day for franks platoon but as luck would have it the M.A.S.H. unit was right near by to scoop up all of the wounded soldiers (socks included) and take them to the Maytag field hospital and get those boys cleaned up.
Or the night that VChris Pulled an air raid on his own bed sheets. (talk about a double agent)
Come on now!
Lets hear it, see if you got a war story that can top it.
I was hoping frank would tell the story of his favorite new years after party where his stomach , weakened by his arch enemy "Pizza Hut" , attacked him from the front and in fending off the attack he was flanked and ambushed from the rear by his other mortal enemy " bowels of the drunken itialian"
It was a sad day for franks platoon but as luck would have it the M.A.S.H. unit was right near by to scoop up all of the wounded soldiers (socks included) and take them to the Maytag field hospital and get those boys cleaned up.
Or the night that VChris Pulled an air raid on his own bed sheets. (talk about a double agent)
Come on now!
Lets hear it, see if you got a war story that can top it.
dedrater
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,815
From: Lewiston, Me
Re: Casualties of war
Originally Posted by Vertical_Mike
I know that I'm not the only one with a gamble a lose story to tell. For all the bathrooms in all the world Their are more solders left behind than just mine.
I was hoping frank would tell the story of his favorite new years after party where his stomach , weakened by his arch enemy "Pizza Hut" , attacked him from the front and in fending off the attack he was flanked and ambushed from the rear by his other mortal enemy " bowels of the drunken itialian"
It was a sad day for franks platoon but as luck would have it the M.A.S.H. unit was right near by to scoop up all of the wounded soldiers (socks included) and take them to the Maytag field hospital and get those boys cleaned up.
Or the night that VChris Pulled an air raid on his own bed sheets. (talk about a double agent)
Come on now!
Lets hear it, see if you got a war story that can top it.
I was hoping frank would tell the story of his favorite new years after party where his stomach , weakened by his arch enemy "Pizza Hut" , attacked him from the front and in fending off the attack he was flanked and ambushed from the rear by his other mortal enemy " bowels of the drunken itialian"
It was a sad day for franks platoon but as luck would have it the M.A.S.H. unit was right near by to scoop up all of the wounded soldiers (socks included) and take them to the Maytag field hospital and get those boys cleaned up.
Or the night that VChris Pulled an air raid on his own bed sheets. (talk about a double agent)
Come on now!
Lets hear it, see if you got a war story that can top it.
LMFGDAO
Totally forgot about some of those stories
Liv fr PEACE prpre fr WAR
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,834
From: .
Re: Casualties of war
Originally Posted by Vertical_Mike
I know that I'm not the only one with a gamble a lose story to tell. For all the bathrooms in all the world Their are more solders left behind than just mine.
I was hoping frank would tell the story of his favorite new years after party where his stomach , weakened by his arch enemy "Pizza Hut" , attacked him from the front and in fending off the attack he was flanked and ambushed from the rear by his other mortal enemy " bowels of the drunken itialian"
It was a sad day for franks platoon but as luck would have it the M.A.S.H. unit was right near by to scoop up all of the wounded soldiers (socks included) and take them to the Maytag field hospital and get those boys cleaned up.
Or the night that VChris Pulled an air raid on his own bed sheets. (talk about a double agent)
Come on now!
Lets hear it, see if you got a war story that can top it.
I was hoping frank would tell the story of his favorite new years after party where his stomach , weakened by his arch enemy "Pizza Hut" , attacked him from the front and in fending off the attack he was flanked and ambushed from the rear by his other mortal enemy " bowels of the drunken itialian"
It was a sad day for franks platoon but as luck would have it the M.A.S.H. unit was right near by to scoop up all of the wounded soldiers (socks included) and take them to the Maytag field hospital and get those boys cleaned up.
Or the night that VChris Pulled an air raid on his own bed sheets. (talk about a double agent)
Come on now!
Lets hear it, see if you got a war story that can top it.
i dont know any good **** stories but i know quite a few peep who pissed themsleves
Registered User
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 490
From: Bradenton, FL
Re: Casualties of war
When I was younger I was at the park playing tennis with my parents and when to jump to hit a ball and bam!! Sh** myself big time. Had to ride home setting on my knees so it wouldn't get all over the car. Aww... Those were the days.....
Registered User
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,182
From: verticaloutlaw land....south ME
Re: Casualties of war
I would love to tell the new years eve story in it's entirety but that would take a lot of typing....aaawwww *** it here goes, hope you guys are ready for a good laugh.
It all started around dinner time New years eve.....a few years ago. There was an early evening concert with a few bands and after that therer was a party at Vertical Daves house. I grabbed some Pizza at domino's before going to the concert with some chick I was banging. During the concert I had a real good case of the beegee's (bubble guts! ) By the time I got to Dave's house I was in desperate need of relief. I shat so hard I was sweating after...no casualties yet, just business as usual. As the night progressed I was consuming many alcoholic beverages. I already kinda had a set amount in my mind of how much I wanted to drink and by the time I got to that point I was doing fine.....until the guys said I couldn't stop. Just a little history real quick...usually I'm the responsible guy who doesn't drink too much so I can cart all the drunks around and get them home safely. When I do cut loose I tend to get a little silly and all the guys like to see me make fool outta myself. Back to the story...needless to say I wound up drinking enough to kill a plow horse, that's when I knew I was fu(ked. I told the chick I was with that we should get going because I didn't feel too well. We we're staying at her sister in-laws house that night, but no one else was going to be there, they were all visiting family...so we had the place to ourself. When we got there I sat down on the couch for a while to try to recover from the spins. While sitting there I started having the uncontrolable urge to take a ****. Problem was I had to throw up too. I knew if I **** I'd basically be pissing out of my *** and I had to go soooo bad! All the sudden, like a gazell runing for it's life from a hungry lion, I made a mad dash for the bathroom. Everything hit at once, at that moment my world came crashing down like a kamakazie plane in WW2. I threw myself in front of the toilet to puke, problem was everytime I would puke I would simultaniously **** my pants at the same time. I had absolutely no control at all! I must have had at least 4-5 good heaves. The bowl was full of puke and my pants were FULL of ****! **** was just running everywhere all over the bathroom floor, the mat in from of the toilet, god knows where else I didn't care really. After quickly accessing the situation at hand I began to hysterically laugh and proceed to get undressed so I could hop in the shower and clean off. moments later the inevitable "are you ok, is everything ok in there" sounded from the other side of the door. I cracked the door open while hysterically laughing and cracking up, I muttered...."Houston, we have a problem" . You wouldn't believe the horrific scream that followed when chicky opened the door to find all that was the biggest pile of **** ever known to man. I was in the shower by that point ( still laughing ) while she proceeded to clean the mess up. I then stumbled past her and passed out on the couch, only to wake up in the morning to clean clothes and the whole situation taken care of. Chick definitely deserved a medal of honor for surviving that ordeal. Needless to say I learned a very valuable lesson....if I ever have the urge to both puke and **** at the same time, jump in the tub and do it all there...it's a hell of a lot easier to clean up! As for the chick I stopped seeing her within a week after the incident....after months of therapy I believe she made a full recovery. Still to this day the sound of puking brings back horrible war time memories!
It all started around dinner time New years eve.....a few years ago. There was an early evening concert with a few bands and after that therer was a party at Vertical Daves house. I grabbed some Pizza at domino's before going to the concert with some chick I was banging. During the concert I had a real good case of the beegee's (bubble guts! ) By the time I got to Dave's house I was in desperate need of relief. I shat so hard I was sweating after...no casualties yet, just business as usual. As the night progressed I was consuming many alcoholic beverages. I already kinda had a set amount in my mind of how much I wanted to drink and by the time I got to that point I was doing fine.....until the guys said I couldn't stop. Just a little history real quick...usually I'm the responsible guy who doesn't drink too much so I can cart all the drunks around and get them home safely. When I do cut loose I tend to get a little silly and all the guys like to see me make fool outta myself. Back to the story...needless to say I wound up drinking enough to kill a plow horse, that's when I knew I was fu(ked. I told the chick I was with that we should get going because I didn't feel too well. We we're staying at her sister in-laws house that night, but no one else was going to be there, they were all visiting family...so we had the place to ourself. When we got there I sat down on the couch for a while to try to recover from the spins. While sitting there I started having the uncontrolable urge to take a ****. Problem was I had to throw up too. I knew if I **** I'd basically be pissing out of my *** and I had to go soooo bad! All the sudden, like a gazell runing for it's life from a hungry lion, I made a mad dash for the bathroom. Everything hit at once, at that moment my world came crashing down like a kamakazie plane in WW2. I threw myself in front of the toilet to puke, problem was everytime I would puke I would simultaniously **** my pants at the same time. I had absolutely no control at all! I must have had at least 4-5 good heaves. The bowl was full of puke and my pants were FULL of ****! **** was just running everywhere all over the bathroom floor, the mat in from of the toilet, god knows where else I didn't care really. After quickly accessing the situation at hand I began to hysterically laugh and proceed to get undressed so I could hop in the shower and clean off. moments later the inevitable "are you ok, is everything ok in there" sounded from the other side of the door. I cracked the door open while hysterically laughing and cracking up, I muttered...."Houston, we have a problem" . You wouldn't believe the horrific scream that followed when chicky opened the door to find all that was the biggest pile of **** ever known to man. I was in the shower by that point ( still laughing ) while she proceeded to clean the mess up. I then stumbled past her and passed out on the couch, only to wake up in the morning to clean clothes and the whole situation taken care of. Chick definitely deserved a medal of honor for surviving that ordeal. Needless to say I learned a very valuable lesson....if I ever have the urge to both puke and **** at the same time, jump in the tub and do it all there...it's a hell of a lot easier to clean up! As for the chick I stopped seeing her within a week after the incident....after months of therapy I believe she made a full recovery. Still to this day the sound of puking brings back horrible war time memories!
dedrater
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,815
From: Lewiston, Me
Re: Casualties of war
Originally Posted by verticalfrank
I would love to tell the new years eve story in it's entirety but that would take a lot of typing....aaawwww *** it here goes, hope you guys are ready for a good laugh.
It all started around dinner time New years eve.....a few years ago. There was an early evening concert with a few bands and after that therer was a party at Vertical Daves house. I grabbed some Pizza at domino's before going to the concert with some chick I was banging. During the concert I had a real good case of the beegee's (bubble guts! ) By the time I got to Dave's house I was in desperate need of relief. I shat so hard I was sweating after...no casualties yet, just business as usual. As the night progressed I was consuming many alcoholic beverages. I already kinda had a set amount in my mind of how much I wanted to drink and by the time I got to that point I was doing fine.....until the guys said I couldn't stop. Just a little history real quick...usually I'm the responsible guy who doesn't drink too much so I can cart all the drunks around and get them home safely. When I do cut loose I tend to get a little silly and all the guys like to see me make fool outta myself. Back to the story...needless to say I wound up drinking enough to kill a plow horse, that's when I knew I was fu(ked. I told the chick I was with that we should get going because I didn't feel too well. We we're staying at her sister in-laws house that night, but no one else was going to be there, they were all visiting family...so we had the place to ourself. When we got there I sat down on the couch for a while to try to recover from the spins. While sitting there I started having the uncontrolable urge to take a ****. Problem was I had to throw up too. I knew if I **** I'd basically be pissing out of my *** and I had to go soooo bad! All the sudden, like a gazell runing for it's life from a hungry lion, I made a mad dash for the bathroom. Everything hit at once, at that moment my world came crashing down like a kamakazie plane in WW2. I threw myself in front of the toilet to puke, problem was everytime I would puke I would simultaniously **** my pants at the same time. I had absolutely no control at all! I must have had at least 4-5 good heaves. The bowl was full of puke and my pants were FULL of ****! **** was just running everywhere all over the bathroom floor, the mat in from of the toilet, god knows where else I didn't care really. After quickly accessing the situation at hand I began to hysterically laugh and proceed to get undressed so I could hop in the shower and clean off. moments later the inevitable "are you ok, is everything ok in there" sounded from the other side of the door. I cracked the door open while hysterically laughing and cracking up, I muttered...."Houston, we have a problem" . You wouldn't believe the horrific scream that followed when chicky opened the door to find all that was the biggest pile of **** ever known to man. I was in the shower by that point ( still laughing ) while she proceeded to clean the mess up. I then stumbled past her and passed out on the couch, only to wake up in the morning to clean clothes and the whole situation taken care of. Chick definitely deserved a medal of honor for surviving that ordeal. Needless to say I learned a very valuable lesson....if I ever have the urge to both puke and **** at the same time, jump in the tub and do it all there...it's a hell of a lot easier to clean up! As for the chick I stopped seeing her within a week after the incident....after months of therapy I believe she made a full recovery. Still to this day the sound of puking brings back horrible war time memories!
It all started around dinner time New years eve.....a few years ago. There was an early evening concert with a few bands and after that therer was a party at Vertical Daves house. I grabbed some Pizza at domino's before going to the concert with some chick I was banging. During the concert I had a real good case of the beegee's (bubble guts! ) By the time I got to Dave's house I was in desperate need of relief. I shat so hard I was sweating after...no casualties yet, just business as usual. As the night progressed I was consuming many alcoholic beverages. I already kinda had a set amount in my mind of how much I wanted to drink and by the time I got to that point I was doing fine.....until the guys said I couldn't stop. Just a little history real quick...usually I'm the responsible guy who doesn't drink too much so I can cart all the drunks around and get them home safely. When I do cut loose I tend to get a little silly and all the guys like to see me make fool outta myself. Back to the story...needless to say I wound up drinking enough to kill a plow horse, that's when I knew I was fu(ked. I told the chick I was with that we should get going because I didn't feel too well. We we're staying at her sister in-laws house that night, but no one else was going to be there, they were all visiting family...so we had the place to ourself. When we got there I sat down on the couch for a while to try to recover from the spins. While sitting there I started having the uncontrolable urge to take a ****. Problem was I had to throw up too. I knew if I **** I'd basically be pissing out of my *** and I had to go soooo bad! All the sudden, like a gazell runing for it's life from a hungry lion, I made a mad dash for the bathroom. Everything hit at once, at that moment my world came crashing down like a kamakazie plane in WW2. I threw myself in front of the toilet to puke, problem was everytime I would puke I would simultaniously **** my pants at the same time. I had absolutely no control at all! I must have had at least 4-5 good heaves. The bowl was full of puke and my pants were FULL of ****! **** was just running everywhere all over the bathroom floor, the mat in from of the toilet, god knows where else I didn't care really. After quickly accessing the situation at hand I began to hysterically laugh and proceed to get undressed so I could hop in the shower and clean off. moments later the inevitable "are you ok, is everything ok in there" sounded from the other side of the door. I cracked the door open while hysterically laughing and cracking up, I muttered...."Houston, we have a problem" . You wouldn't believe the horrific scream that followed when chicky opened the door to find all that was the biggest pile of **** ever known to man. I was in the shower by that point ( still laughing ) while she proceeded to clean the mess up. I then stumbled past her and passed out on the couch, only to wake up in the morning to clean clothes and the whole situation taken care of. Chick definitely deserved a medal of honor for surviving that ordeal. Needless to say I learned a very valuable lesson....if I ever have the urge to both puke and **** at the same time, jump in the tub and do it all there...it's a hell of a lot easier to clean up! As for the chick I stopped seeing her within a week after the incident....after months of therapy I believe she made a full recovery. Still to this day the sound of puking brings back horrible war time memories!
Registered User
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,182
From: verticaloutlaw land....south ME
Re: Casualties of war
Originally Posted by Jay6
Frank Amen to you my friend, you should have kept her, thats wife material
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4,250
From: Upstate NY
Re: Casualties of war
talkin about shiat..i believe the morning dump run is coming....after two monster slices of cheese pizza last night and a bowl of home made mac and cheese before bed...this might be a workout! :YEAH
:YEAH 
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,109
From: Portland, ME
Re: Casualties of war
Originally Posted by slinky750
talkin about shiat..i believe the morning dump run is coming....after two monster slices of cheese pizza last night and a bowl of home made mac and cheese before bed...this might be a workout! :YEAH
:YEAH dedrater
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 9,815
From: Lewiston, Me
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