Common people post up some jokes, i could use a good laugh

 

You know how the United States has our National Anthem?
Know what Cuba's is?






Row Row Row your Boat

 

but remember, our best swimmers on our U.S olympic swim team
are all from cuba.

 

I cant think of anything funny right now........

 

think of ryan....then you might laugh

(jk)

 

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey horse, why the the long face"

thats a knee slapper right there

 

why is a blonde like a pool table?

you put a dollar in and she'll rack your *****!!!

 

How can you tell if Michael Jackson is having an
orgy at the Never Neverland Ranch???


by all the big wheels parked out front!

 

knock, knock....
who's there?
little boy blue...
little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!!!!

 

 

what did the bananna say to the vibrator?


why are you shaking.......she's going to eat me

 

whats the difference between pink and purple?


the grip

 

your mama's so stupid.....

she brought toilet paper to a crap's game

 

why can't chinese people have a white baby???

cause 2 wong's don't make a white.


i know i'm gay for postin that one

 

i'm so gonna pee my pants

 

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable. The director went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis by jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient. Your action displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

 

Late one night a drunk guy is showing some friends around his brand new apartment. The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.

"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.

"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."

"How does it work?"

The guys picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.

Suddenly, someone on the otherside of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you as*hole...it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"

 

A husband, wife and son are barely making ends meet on their farm. One morning the woman sees the family's only cow lying dead in the field and hangs herself in desperation. When the man awakens, he sees his wife and cow dead and shoots himself. The son finds his parents dead and goes to drown himself, only to discover a mermaid at the river. The mermaid tells him, "If you have sex with me 10 times in a row, I will revive your parents and the cow." "Why not 20?" replies the son. "Fine," she says. "Twenty it is." "But wait," says the boy. "How do I know that 20 times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"

 

what did the blonde's left leg say to the right leg???

nothing....they've never met

 

what do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in the bath tub???

throw in your dirty laundry!!!!