Lmao
Thread Starter
Registered User
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 6,109
From: Portland, ME
Lmao
Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
>A: Hypothermia
>**************
>Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
>A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>***************
>Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
>A: Something a woman does while a guy is ****ing her.
>***************
>Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
>A: Gonorrhoea
>****************
>Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
>A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once
>in a while too.
>*****************
>Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
>A. She rolls her own tampons.
>*****************
>Q. Why do **** like ribbed condoms?
>A. Better traction in the mud.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
>A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years
>old.
>*****************
>Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>A. Marry it.
>*****************
>Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>*****************
>Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
>A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between m ayonnaise &semen?
>A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back o f a girl's throat at thirty miles an
>hour.
>*****************
>Q. Why do women call it PMS?
>A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>*****************
>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
>*****************
>Q. What's the height of conceit?
>A Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>*****************
>Q. What's the definition of macho?
>A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>*****************
>Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
>A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between oral sex &**** sex?
>A. Oral sex makes your day, **** sex makes your whole week.
>*****************
>Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
>A. You p ush it to the side before you start eating.
>*****************
>Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian *******?
>A. You know she'll swallow.
>*****************
>Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same
day
>in Iraq?
>A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
>A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelery.
>******************
>Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>******************
>Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
>bedtime?
>A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>******************
>Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the h ouse?
>A. Look inside your pants; if you have a *****, it's not time.
>******************
>Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>******************
>Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
>A. Because it's worth it
>A: Hypothermia
>**************
>Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
>A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>***************
>Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
>A: Something a woman does while a guy is ****ing her.
>***************
>Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
>A: Gonorrhoea
>****************
>Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
>A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once
>in a while too.
>*****************
>Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
>A. She rolls her own tampons.
>*****************
>Q. Why do **** like ribbed condoms?
>A. Better traction in the mud.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson?
>A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years
>old.
>*****************
>Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>A. Marry it.
>*****************
>Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>*****************
>Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
>A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between m ayonnaise &semen?
>A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back o f a girl's throat at thirty miles an
>hour.
>*****************
>Q. Why do women call it PMS?
>A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>*****************
>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
>*****************
>Q. What's the height of conceit?
>A Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>*****************
>Q. What's the definition of macho?
>A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>*****************
>Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
>A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between oral sex &**** sex?
>A. Oral sex makes your day, **** sex makes your whole week.
>*****************
>Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?
>A. You p ush it to the side before you start eating.
>*****************
>Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian *******?
>A. You know she'll swallow.
>*****************
>Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same
day
>in Iraq?
>A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
>*****************
>Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
>A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelery.
>******************
>Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>******************
>Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
>bedtime?
>A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>******************
>Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the h ouse?
>A. Look inside your pants; if you have a *****, it's not time.
>******************
>Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>******************
>Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
>A. Because it's worth it
....i'm glad i took the time to read all those jokes.
bitch 
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 2,564
From: Presque Isle, Maine
Re: Lmao
Originally Posted by sclevela
f-ell
o-ut
o-f
c-hair
r-ollin
o-n
f-loor
l-aughed
m-y
f-ukkin
l-iver
o-ut
and who said cops werent smart?
o-ut
o-f
c-hair
r-ollin
o-n
f-loor
l-aughed
m-y
f-ukkin
l-iver
o-ut
and who said cops werent smart?
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