mnchvgs79

Got it in my email, thought I'd share:

The Maine Turnpike Toll Agents will soon start handing out "Welcome to Vacationland" informational flyers to all vehicles entering the state bearing New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, and Rhode Island license plates. Those with Massachusetts plates might just get shot on sight like other vermin unless they quickly promise to spend lots of money. Cars with plates from other states will only be given flyers if they prove they can read.



Here are the rules for visiting Maine:

1. That slope shouldered farm boy you are snickering at did more work
before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slowly you drive, you're
going to get dust on your BMW. We have a four wheel drive because we
need
it. Now drive or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old.
Yeah, we
saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
your
butt kicked...by our women.

5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an
idiot.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up
to
your ear at the time!

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
it
rare. Order a two pound lobster and steamers. Or, if you still want
vegetables, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds
of
ham and turkey.

8. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of
sugar
and a long spoon. It's called iced tea!

9. You bring Coke into our houses, it better be brown, wet, and served
over
ice.

10. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We
have
quarter-million dollar skidders to pull logs out of the woods.

11. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop
when
it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow. Hell, we may even stop
when it
is green if we see something interesting across the road.

12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks because they want to. So,
you
say you're a feminist. Isn't that cute? By the way, Margaret Chase
Smith,
Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins have represented Maine in the U.S.
Senate.
How many women have represented your feminist-enlightened state?

13. Yeah, we eat lobster, scallops, clams and haddock, too. If you
really
want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.

14. They are pigs and they are cows. That's what they smell like. Get
used
to it. Don't like it? Interstate 95 & Maine Turnpike go two ways....get
on
the Southbound Lane!

15. "Opening day" refers to the first days of fishin' and deer
season'.
They are religious holidays. You can get breakfast at the church. At
3:00a.m.

16. So what if every person in every pickup waves? It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept where you come from?

17. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It
spooks
the fish.

18. Chowder is supposed to be white. Don't even think of asking for
red
chowder until you are somewhere safely south of White Plains.

19. All the boats in Maine point in the same direction because that's
what
harbor Masters are trained to do.

20. The farthest you got is Ogunquit? That isn't the real Maine.
That's
Northern Massachusetts.

21. Yeah, the paper mill emits a smell like rotting cabbage. Do you
want it
closed down? Bad odor means good people are working.

22. Bar Harbor, Camden and Kennebunkport are really tourist traps
which no
self-respecting real Mainer visits but we won't tell you that because
we
need your money.

23. The "Moose Crossing Next 14 Miles" signs on I-95 are no joke.
Police
concluded statistically you have a greater chance of getting killed in
a
car-moose collision than getting shot by a mugger in Manhattan.

24. Cars with Massachusetts license plates should be treated with
great
caution as everyone in Maine knows that Massholes can't drive properly.

25. Unless the word "Sucks" follows the word "Yankees" it should not
appear
on clothing worn within the northern province of Red Sox Nation.

Welcome to Maine - The Way Life Should Be ....... Now go Back Home!

verticaljay

LMFGDAO!

The skidder one killed me..... now where is my lined flannel.

wall hit

thats awesome, so true to.

vertical_joe

Hahaha! I miss home now!

verticaljay

eat it sukka! you get to ride year round..... you would never guess who I talked to yesterday, or who is back home as well.

verticalfrank

you'll be back soon enough...Oct right?

vertical_joe

I have no guesses.....so fill me in.....

vertical_joe

not lookin good for october...I am sure that Jay told you by now....

verticaldave

No he keeps it to himself!! what's up?

verticaljay

**** mongerer. I told you before we left for the saco


selective memory again

verticalfrank

hell i don't even know when our next show is? you at least want to let us know that?

verticaldave

HI there!! we cant we just get along.

verticaljay

I don't know how many times I have to say the 13th.... should I repeat it another 1700 times... here you go.


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maybe if you guys actually asked......





I give up

verticaldave

r u sure 8-13

8-13?
8-13?
8-13?
8-13?
8-13?
8-13?
8-13?

Where? 4 What?

mainerdr

Maybe if someone updated the website everyone would know when the shows are, fans and riders.