Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[QUOTE=Sick Dave;3788249]Say ADDICTED after every question u read:
Drugs?
Alcohol?
Sex?
What hit u in the face last night?[/QUOTE]

LMAO... that got sent out to everyone in my phone....

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

"IN GOD WE TRUST"


HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK



1. Open a new file on your computer.



2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.



3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.



4. Empty the Recycle Bin.



5. Your PC will ask you: 'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'

6. Firmly Click 'Yes.'



7. Feel better? GOOD! -







Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi! :-)

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

i had to take down my xmas lights early this year cause they kept making me think of niggas... half of them dident work and the ones that did werent that bright...

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

Say ADDICTED after every question u read:
Drugs?
Alcohol?
Sex?
What hit u in the face last night?



IT'S FUNNY CAUSE ITS TRUE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [B][U]JUST KIDDING!!!![/U][/B]

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

A 9921
Toibi biquT2
TA pnilim2
9M

need help cracking the code? use a mirror

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

i beileve it goes like this " today is hug a retard day so dont freak like you did last year no one is tryin to take your helmet"

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[FONT=Arial][B]What a woman says...[/B]

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!

[B]What a man hears...[/B]

blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!

not that funny but...:cheers
[/FONT]

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

My application to e-harmony was denied!
One of the questions was: 'What do you like in a woman?'
Apparently 'My cock' was not the right answer.

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[COLOR=black]why do the police hate hillbilly muder cases?..... no dental records and all the DNA matchs[/COLOR]

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[COLOR=black]So a queer walks into a gay bar and..... ah nevermind you were probaly there. I'm sure you know what happened.[/COLOR]

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together,
when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'
Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'
The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'.
Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'.

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'
Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.
Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.

A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some
Cookies.
Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'
The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'
Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass'.
The little boy replies, 'Then go fuck yourself'. Grandma made these for me'

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

i sent an angel to watch over you last night. he came back and said he doesnt watch porn. thanks for traumatizing my fuckin angel you ass

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

what did the easter egg say to the boilin water........ its gonna take me a while to get hard. i just got laid by some hot chick

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

a kid saw 2 dogs humpin. mom says they're bakin a cake. kid says i know, you and dad baked one lastnight, i licked the frostin off the couch

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack Shit? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, You dont know Jack Shit? Well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O Shit, the owners of Knee Deep N Shit Inc. In turn Jack Shit married Noe Shit. The couple had 6 children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Deep Shit and Dip Shit. Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Lota Shit and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit n Giva Shit married the Happens brothers n had a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the Shit-Happens wedding. Bull Shit traveled the world and returned home with an italian
bridePisa Shit. So from now on, no one can tell you that you dont know Jack Shit

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[QUOTE=sQuiD FigHTer;3865742]For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack Shit? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, You dont know Jack Shit? Well, thanks to my efforts you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O Shit, the owners of Knee Deep N Shit Inc. In turn Jack Shit married Noe Shit. The couple had 6 children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Deep Shit and Dip Shit. Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a high school dropout. After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Shit married Lota Shit and had a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit n Giva Shit married the Happens brothers n had a double wedding. The newspaper invited everyone to the Shit-Happens wedding. Bull Shit traveled the world and returned home with an italian
bridePisa Shit. So from now on, no one can tell you that you dont know Jack Shit[/QUOTE]
:banghead:LOL:LOL

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

the 3 biggest lies in this world are..
1. i love you
2. your check is in the mail
3. i won't cum in your face

all 3 are pretty dam ture 2 lol

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[quote=sick dave;3788249]say addicted after every question u read:
Drugs?
Alcohol?
Sex?
What hit u in the face last night?[/quote]


:lol

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[quote=sQuiD FigHTer;3856760]A five year old boy and his grandpa are sitting on the front porch together,
when gramps pulls a beer out of his cooler.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a beer Grandpa?'
Grandpa replies: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'
The little boy answered: 'No Grandpa. It's just a little pecker'.
Gramps says: 'Well then, you're not man enough to have a beer'.

A little later Grandpa lights up a cigar.
The little boy asks: 'Can I have a cigar Grandpa?'
Once again, Grandpa asks: 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

Once again the little boy replies, 'No, it's too little'.
Gramps replies, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar'.

A little later the little boy comes out of the house with milk and some
Cookies.
Grandpa asks, 'Hey there young feller, can I have a cookie?'
The boy asks, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'
Laughing, Gramps replies, 'Hell yes, my pecker can touch my ass'.
The little boy replies, 'Then go fuck yourself'. Grandma made these for me'[/quote]


thats good lol..

Re: Official Text Message Thread
 

[quote=sQuiD FigHTer;3722751][B][COLOR=lime]A hillbilly was fuckin his sister, he says "whats so funny?" She says "you fuck like dad!" He says "I know, mom told me."[/COLOR][/B][/quote]

thats funny right there..... :LOL