ChrisNoF4i

LMAO! Please send a video-taped story to be premiered at the Reckless Methods party in 2 weeks. We could always use a break from the T&A to hear more 'Tales from Missoula'.

Jay Carnes

i am So with that!!! :YEAH

od1nixer

I could do my Charlton Heston impression!
It would have to be a long tape, once I get rolling and drinking, I just start rambling and spitting

Gix6

ok its been a week, so we no u have a new story for us lets hear the latest :YEAH man its going to suck when she gets shipped off then no more psycho stories

TEACH C6

yep, gix6 is right....time for this week's edition of the daily drama times!

Jay Carnes

more stories!!!

zodrow

Now call me behind the times. . but I just read this thread and started tearing up I was laughing so *&^%ing hard.

This is def. up for thread of the year!

Keep 'em coming!!!! :YEAH :YEAH :YEAH

od1nixer

Down boys! Give me a minute, once I start writing, I just keep going, next thing I know my boss is threatening to fire me. I've got to be sneaky

od1nixer

Alright, I'm floating in a haze of cold medicine right now, I haven't figured out if this is good or bad yet. I've just been getting shat on the last few weeks. Sickness, injuries, just one on top of the other, and really ain't much been going on. I can tell ya about friday night, you guys might find it amusing.

So Psycho has been out of the picture since my last entry, probably haven't gotten more than 5 text messages from her. Maybe she's saving up ready to explode, I don't know. I've been weening Nicole from my teet, as she was getting needy. We really are different people, so in my mind, it's for the best. Now I don't like sleeping alone, so of course there's something keeping the foot of my bed warm. That would be Ashley. This is a girl that I really don't have a physical attraction towards. There might have been an attraction at first, but before long, she made it into the friend zone. She's just fun to sleep with, and in sleep, I mean sleep. I haven't even kissed this girl, and have no plans to.

Ashley and I had been hanging out off and on for maybe two weeks, and just crashing in my bed. No biggie, right? I want someone to sleep with, and she needed somewhere to pass out. Everybody's happy. Well apparently Ashley had some feelings, and was just afraid to express them. She sure as hell has a weird way of expressing them, but I suppose that's true for all women. She had dated one of my friends, and I had dated her friends, so I just thought it would be wierd to ruin a friendship by screwing (I know, I know, I'm getting soft).

Flip to Friday night. We're all karaoking it up for Brian's birthday, just downright shitty. Everybody is having a good time. Nicole is ignoring me, Ashley is getting hit on left and right and just ******* these guys left and right. Apparently she's telling people she's taken, unbeknownst to me of course. I was harassing one of the locals when I notice a brown head of hair in the nape of my neck. Next thing I know she's sucking on my ears. Now believe me, I'm not one to question this action, but it was a brunette. I don't deal in the brunette business, so I knew it wasn't one of my regulars. Well before that memo made it back to headquarters to assess the situation, a blonde head shows up on my left and follows suite! Now that was a bit more familiar, but yet again, it was an unfamiliar blonde. So I'm sitting at the bar with two women sucking on my neck, about ready to commit rape in the back alley, when the brunette finally looks up. Chelsea! What's happening girl, long time no see. Nice tongue ring you got there!

I slammed another Bull Blaster as I struggled for a grasp on the situation. I set my glass down just in time to see Nikki and Tiffany walk in and start dancing to my tubby friend Brian's rendition of "Baby Got Back" Now, as amusing as this was, I was a bit unnerved. I've got four of my women in close proximity, and at the same moment, I've got two women flicking my earrings with their tongue rings like they're playing croquet. Quick ladies, outside! We can talk out their.

I hadn't seen Chelsea in probably a year. She wasn't an ex, but a girl that always gets the eye from me, and vice versa. So introduce me to your friend! Kristi, nice to meet ya! Not a bad looking girl, blonde (so of course she's my type), not as small as I like them, but not bad. We chat for a minute, but I can't help but think about playing more croquet. So I tell them to give me a few minutes inside the bar, and we'll all boogie and have a good time. So I go inside, round up the troops in fire-alarm fashion. Tell them "Hey, it's Brian's Birthday! Time for the Moulin!" Moulin, as in the Moulin Rouge strip club, other side of town, with bouncers, who card. So the other ladies can't go. I'm a genious. And everybody loves the idea.

Oi, still typing. Get to Moulin, Kristi and Chelsea are both having a great time. All my other girls are wondering just where the hell everyone went, while we're sucking down bull blasters and scoping box. Bar time comes, I tell everyone I got to drop these girls off, will meet up for after-hours in a minute. Long story short, what do you do with the not-so-hot chic in a threesome? I mean really, you don't want her to feel neglected, but at the same time you have to take time away from the hottie. Damnit, what am I to do? Should it be like 50/50? 60/40? 75/25? As I'm running over math equations in my head, my phones blowing up. Conveniently, I'm getting blown and could care less.

I'll spare you guys the naked details, but we're having a grand time playing naked twister, wanna toke? Of course! Next thing we know it's 5 in the morning and we're laying naked in a sweat soaked bed. Wonderful memory to tell the grandkids, I know. Just when I thought this went way too smoothly, I hear heels on the stairs. Heels? **** beans! Ashley damn near forgets to use the door **** and slams through the door. Yeah baby! She's drunk. D'oh! She's not happy, though. So much for that fantasy!

Now I'm hoping for a drunken naked brawl to ensue, but Ashley begins crying and wants to talk in a psycho like manner. But But But there's naked women! So she wants to go downstairs and talk. Apparently she felt a need to talk about her feelings for me while I've got two naked women in my bed. But there's two naked women in my bed. Don't you know there's two naked women in my bed? You love me right now while I've got two naked women in my bed? I don't get it.

So I hold her hair with one hand while shes puking, smoking a cigatette in the other hand. I couldn't quite string together the events that brought me to that point, but it was a strange situation. I put Ashley on the couch, and return to my throne. Thankfully, I got the two ***-dumpsters out the house before Ashley woke from her coma in the morning. She really hasn't spoken to me since. At least I've got memories.

Gix6

great story

od1nixer ur a pimp :YEAH

od1nixer

That's what everyone says. I don't get it. It's not like I make an effort. ****, I'm too ****ed up most of the time to care. This stuff just happens. I just observe. :

Jay Carnes

I give OD1 props. I got the MAD A.D.D. I can't pay attention to anything BESIEDES these stories. They are fantastic!

dude. bravo. Bravo sir!

TEACH C6

I'm Telling You Man!! Write A Effing Book!!!!

I Will Buy It!!!

Jay6

Yea this is better than the bathroom reader

paragus

OD1 for PRESIDENT!!!!!!!! these stories kick ***!

Gixxer_Princess

Yet again another great story

This story couldn't have come at a better time. today sucked but this story just made it better

Angel Of Death

OD1: You've done what no person has ever been able to do before: Keep Jay Carnes' attention for more than two sentances! OD1 a cure for ADD. rock on dude you are my random hero!

zodrow

I couldn't agree more. Acutally I cant think of anything I rather spend my money on.

BOOK! BOOK! BOOK! :YEAH

LewisKA

Yeah I would too.