View Poll Results: WHAT SHOULD I DO TO KELM?
BUTT RAPE!
26
25.49%
EAT HIS ASS!
18
17.65%
BIKE HIS COCK OFF!
15
14.71%
STICK A HOT IRON UP HIS ASS! AND LICK IT!
21
20.59%
SHIT ON HIS CHEST
70
68.63%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 102. You may not vote on this poll
Kelm Likes Cock!
10-17-2007, 02:10 PM
#61
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA
Age: 60
Posts: 254
Re: Kelm Likes ****!
DON'T BE GAY!
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat. 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a *******. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or ****. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a ***.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or **** in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice c ream and pie, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-*** driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.
1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat. 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a *******. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or ****. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a ***.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or **** in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice c ream and pie, you might as well be handing out free *** passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-*** driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.
08-03-2008, 05:15 PM
#63
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Crystal River, Florida, USA
Age: 42
Posts: 1,446
Re: Kelm Likes ****!
you sound really gay.. everything you wanna do is either licking his *** or blowing a load on him... should have named the thread.. "i'm coming out of that closet!! kelm i love you"
08-03-2008, 05:19 PM
#64
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Crystal River, Florida, USA
Age: 42
Posts: 1,446
Re: Kelm Likes ****!
DON'T BE GAY!
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat. 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your *** over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat. 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.
i have a cat.. and he's a bad bitch.. he'll bend you over his litter box and have his way with you
08-06-2008, 07:01 AM
#67
squid hunter
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: connecticut
Age: 39
Posts: 2,079
Re: Kelm Likes ****!
and he can kill the streets "beter then anyone on this forum"...... he is soo hood i am scared
09-17-2008, 02:49 PM
#68
Say what again!
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Alabaster, AL
Age: 42
Posts: 531
Re: Kelm Likes ****!
Bike his **** off????? WOuld that involve doing a rolling burnout over it, or tying guitar string from his member to the 12 bar, and taking off?
Either way, I voted bike his **** off! At least an iron won't be shoved up his ***.....
Either way, I voted bike his **** off! At least an iron won't be shoved up his ***.....
09-17-2008, 08:09 PM
#69
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Loda, IL
Posts: 2,291
Re: Kelm Likes ****!
LOL! I definitely voted for biking of the ****...
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