metro dolls
11-25-2003, 01:58 PM
#1
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Join Date: Dec 2002
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metro dolls
> Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition
> Barbie Dolls For the Metropolitan Detroit Market:
>
> Birmingham Barbie: This Princess Barbie is only sold at
> >> Birmingham boutique shops. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade
> handbags, a Lexus, a longhaired foreign dog, named "Honey", and an
> over-priced house. Available with or without a tummy tuck and face-lift.
> Therapist Ken available.
> Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with augment
> version. Fantasy Ken sold separately during the afternoons at local
> motels. Toys and accessories sold at adult bookstores.
>
> Livonia Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your
> choice
> of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. Her vehicle will not move unless
> there are no objects in front of the vehicle for 100 yards, causing
> traffic
> jams. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary
> education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching
> gym
> outfit in plus sizes only. Livonia Ken and her come with matching Lions
> jerseys. He drives to the games. She drives home. It takes her 45 minutes
> longer.
>
>
> Troy Barbie: Has freshness date on package. Do not buy after that date or
> product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with no appreciation on how the
> "other"
> 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what makes her happy When
> bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she will change her
> appearance.....will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, will become an avid
> church-goer, and belittle anyone who crosses her. No one including Ken is
> right, ever. Ken's head melts after 17 years.
>
> Westland Barbie: This model is only available at the JC
> Penney Catalog Store or at any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be
> purchased on Saturday night (because of Trivia nights) and Sundays (grade
> school picnics).It comes with a case of Busch Beer, pork steaks, a recipe
> for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager and one cell phone
> (circa
> 1982, big as a toaster) for the whole family with 15 anytime minutes. She
> is
> wearing the latest fashion from Target that she wore on Easter Sunday. It
> also comes with Ken (wearing the latest soccer T-shirt two sizes too
> small),
> a sack of White Castles and a 72 ounce Big Gulp.
>
>
> Redford Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a
> Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit
> This
> Barbie also comes with 6 children by four different Ken. This model is
> available after dark and can be paid for only in cash--preferably small,
> untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then we don't know what you're
> talking about!
>
> West Bloomfield Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a BMW
> sports car or a souped up Hummer 2.0 Included is her Starbucks cup, credit
> cards and country club membership. Also available for this set are
> Shallow
> Ken and private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway. This
> edition is available in Naples, FL, but only during spring break.
>
> Waterford Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans
> two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on
> her
> shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank
> Williams, Jr., CD set.She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired
> Kenny doll's *** when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup separately and get
> its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free. Comes with personal
> concealed gun license.
>
>
> Milford Barbie: This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a
> leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains
> friends at the club. Limited clothing available. Designer mini-skirts and
> CFM'S constitute 90% of her wardrobe. Percocet prescription available.
> Elderly Ken completes this set. Pre-Nup papers as worthless as the
> Chinese-made paper they are printed on.
>
> Royal Oak Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair
> and
> arch-less feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She
> prefers
> that you call her "Willow".
>
>
>
> Taylor Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of
> her
> own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her
> beer-gutted boyfriend out of Anoka Barbie's house. Her make-up is dark red
> lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in
> at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted
> colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through
> halter-top. Accessories include: CD player equipped with Bon Jovi and a
> rusty old Ford pickup.
> Barbie Dolls For the Metropolitan Detroit Market:
>
> Birmingham Barbie: This Princess Barbie is only sold at
> >> Birmingham boutique shops. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade
> handbags, a Lexus, a longhaired foreign dog, named "Honey", and an
> over-priced house. Available with or without a tummy tuck and face-lift.
> Therapist Ken available.
> Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with augment
> version. Fantasy Ken sold separately during the afternoons at local
> motels. Toys and accessories sold at adult bookstores.
>
> Livonia Barbie: This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your
> choice
> of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. Her vehicle will not move unless
> there are no objects in front of the vehicle for 100 yards, causing
> traffic
> jams. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary
> education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching
> gym
> outfit in plus sizes only. Livonia Ken and her come with matching Lions
> jerseys. He drives to the games. She drives home. It takes her 45 minutes
> longer.
>
>
> Troy Barbie: Has freshness date on package. Do not buy after that date or
> product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with no appreciation on how the
> "other"
> 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what makes her happy When
> bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she will change her
> appearance.....will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, will become an avid
> church-goer, and belittle anyone who crosses her. No one including Ken is
> right, ever. Ken's head melts after 17 years.
>
> Westland Barbie: This model is only available at the JC
> Penney Catalog Store or at any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be
> purchased on Saturday night (because of Trivia nights) and Sundays (grade
> school picnics).It comes with a case of Busch Beer, pork steaks, a recipe
> for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager and one cell phone
> (circa
> 1982, big as a toaster) for the whole family with 15 anytime minutes. She
> is
> wearing the latest fashion from Target that she wore on Easter Sunday. It
> also comes with Ken (wearing the latest soccer T-shirt two sizes too
> small),
> a sack of White Castles and a 72 ounce Big Gulp.
>
>
> Redford Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a
> Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit
> This
> Barbie also comes with 6 children by four different Ken. This model is
> available after dark and can be paid for only in cash--preferably small,
> untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then we don't know what you're
> talking about!
>
> West Bloomfield Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a BMW
> sports car or a souped up Hummer 2.0 Included is her Starbucks cup, credit
> cards and country club membership. Also available for this set are
> Shallow
> Ken and private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway. This
> edition is available in Naples, FL, but only during spring break.
>
> Waterford Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans
> two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on
> her
> shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank
> Williams, Jr., CD set.She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired
> Kenny doll's *** when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup separately and get
> its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free. Comes with personal
> concealed gun license.
>
>
> Milford Barbie: This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a
> leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains
> friends at the club. Limited clothing available. Designer mini-skirts and
> CFM'S constitute 90% of her wardrobe. Percocet prescription available.
> Elderly Ken completes this set. Pre-Nup papers as worthless as the
> Chinese-made paper they are printed on.
>
> Royal Oak Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair
> and
> arch-less feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She
> prefers
> that you call her "Willow".
>
>
>
> Taylor Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of
> her
> own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her
> beer-gutted boyfriend out of Anoka Barbie's house. Her make-up is dark red
> lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in
> at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted
> colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through
> halter-top. Accessories include: CD player equipped with Bon Jovi and a
> rusty old Ford pickup.
11-25-2003, 04:06 PM
#7
I Enjoy Posting At StuntLife!
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Taylor
Age: 93
Posts: 4,544
Originally posted by slothy
shiat why buy the taylor doll, when u can rent doris for free
shiat why buy the taylor doll, when u can rent doris for free
p.s not free anymore, coupon has expired
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