Few laughs.. - Comedy Central

00Gixxer750 · 03-15-2004, 12:05 AM

These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.

The first guy said, ''Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.''

The second guy said, ''Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got a DWI.''

The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.''

Then the first guy said, ''No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"

__________________________________________________ ______________

There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.
The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The third vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water."

The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?"

The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."

stoppykid · 03-15-2004, 12:08 AM

:YEAH

Sean24 · 03-15-2004, 12:11 AM

dude...who told u i did that??wtf

00Gixxer750 · 03-15-2004, 02:43 AM

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

Squeaker · 03-15-2004, 12:57 PM

Mogwai · 03-15-2004, 01:50 PM

weedracer · 03-15-2004, 04:56 PM

the gnar · 05-06-2008, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 00Gixxer750

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

hahaha

diggin cuz i'm bored

G_rider03 · 07-04-2008, 12:41 AM

Taz · 07-16-2008, 11:43 AM

funny..

skidmark · 07-22-2008, 08:00 PM

Larse · 07-26-2008, 11:29 AM

great the one with the monkey

Riley · 07-28-2008, 05:06 PM

funny monkey joke

motopimp568 · 08-05-2008, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 00Gixxer750

There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.
The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The third vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water."

The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?"

The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."

haha

motopimp568 · 08-05-2008, 04:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 00Gixxer750

A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."

The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

that one was good tooo

03-15-2004, 12:05 AM	#1
00Gixxer750 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Sandy Hook, NJ Age: Bike: 02 Gixx 6 Gender: Male Posts: 88	Few laughs.. These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before. The first guy said, ''Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'' The second guy said, ''Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got a DWI.'' The third guy says, "Man that was nothing. I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'' Then the first guy said, ''No -- you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!" __________________________________________________ ______________ There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves. The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves. The third vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water." The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?" The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."

03-15-2004, 12:08 AM	#2
stoppykid Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: johnstown, Pa Age: 30 Bike: VTR1000 superchicken, yfz 450, ttr125 Gender: Male Posts: 132	Re: Few laughs.. :YEAH

03-15-2004, 12:11 AM	#3
Sean24 I Love To Post! Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Denver Age: 27 Bike: . Gender: Male Posts: 7,441	Re: Few laughs.. dude...who told u i did that??wtf

03-15-2004, 02:43 AM	#4
00Gixxer750 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Sandy Hook, NJ Age: Bike: 02 Gixx 6 Gender: Male Posts: 88	Re: Few laughs.. A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, and somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything." The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves. Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."

03-15-2004, 12:57 PM	#5
Squeaker Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Home Age: 28 Bike: My a$$ looks better on the back of your bike!!! Gender: Female Posts: 447	Re: Few laughs..

03-15-2004, 01:50 PM	#6
Mogwai Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Chelsea, Mi Age: Bike: 03 SVS, 91 Z50 Gender: Female Posts: 4,083	Re: Few laughs..

03-15-2004, 04:56 PM	#7
weedracer Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: derry nh Age: 30 Bike: xr50 crf100 rm125 Gender: Male Posts: 1,793	Re: Few laughs..

07-04-2008, 12:41 AM	#9
G_rider03 Registered User Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: USA Age: Bike: Kawasaki KX85 Gender: Male Posts: 16	Re: Few laughs..

07-16-2008, 11:43 AM	#10
Taz Lacks self-control Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Birch Run, MI Age: 27 Bike: 1000RR, 954RR, 400EX(416), YZ250, Crf50(88), z50, Gender: Male Posts: 7,180	Re: Few laughs.. funny.. __________________ -TAZ- Keeper of the "M"

07-22-2008, 08:00 PM	#11
skidmark Registered User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Vancouver Age: 28 Bike: Превeд Gender: Male Posts: 1,517	Re: Few laughs.. ... __________________ Heads, I win. Tails, you lose.

07-26-2008, 11:29 AM	#12
Larse Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Hofors, Sweden Age: Bike: Honda MT Gender: Male Posts: 27	Re: Few laughs.. great the one with the monkey

07-28-2008, 05:06 PM	#13
Riley Registered User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: the bay Age: Bike: sure Gender: Female Posts: 64	Re: Few laughs.. funny monkey joke

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